First day into the week and I already can't wait for it to end. As the days go by, I still feel very disconcerted about everything. As cliche as this sounds, how do you find the time to put a genuine smile in the midst of all these adversities?
No, I have no regrets about decisions made, just find a lot of things hard. Not bittersweet, just bitter.
In any case, the previous week was spent procrastinating and wallowing in self pity. Not so much the time of reclusion I was hoping for but I seem to find spending time in lying down in bed more fruitful than getting up and doing something good for myself.
Well, that has been the case for the past few months. I can't wait for my FYP to end, even though it's just a few weeks away but the end of the tunnel is never in sight. It's times like these when I feel like just dropping everything as it is and giving up right here. But then I think about how long I've held on and persevered and decide to carry on. But it's exhausting..
Two phone calls, one last night and another a week ago, reminded me that people are really not how appear to be on the surface; happy. By this, I mean the people who are genuinely crushed by things. I've always wondered how people come to a state of being perpetually upset, until I realised how it was possible.
Well 'til then, here's a reminder to myself, in time to come, as I read this:
At least I still remember how to put on a smile.
Even when I don't feel like it.
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